How to Shift a Conversation

and prevent an argument

Note from Rick. Mary and I are two of the co-founders of Indivisible Park County, a local chapter of Indivisible, the national organization. Our chapter’s mission is to protect our community, our constitution, and our democracy. Mary produces a Weekly Digest that we hope keeps our members informed and motivated. A group of our volunteers, called “Message Makers,” provides a piece each week on how to communicate about difficult and divisive subjects. They do an excellent job. I think this week’s message is relevant for all of us on our protesting journeys. I’ve posted it below. Let me know what you think.

Photo by MabelAmber via Pixabay

From the Message Makers:

Over the upcoming holidays, political conversations with friends and family can be difficult, especially when emotions run high. But you don’t have to choose between staying silent and jumping into a debate you don’t want. With a few simple phrases, you can acknowledge the other person without escalating, gently steering things back to safer ground.

You don’t have to agree with someone to recognize what they’ve said. The key is to acknowledge, then pivot. Neutral responses like “That’s interesting,” “I hear you,” or “I’ll think about that” validate the other person’s humanity, not their opinion.

And skip the word “whatever” as it is disrespectful, feels dismissive, and shuts down any possibility of continued conversation. It is essentially verbal eye-rolling.

Below are some phrases that help diffuse tension and keep relationships intact.

If someone says:

“I can’t believe you think that!” “What is wrong with you!”

You could say:

“I hear how strongly you feel. I’d rather focus on enjoying our time together than debating this right now. By the way, tell me what has been going on with you and your family recently.”

If someone says:

“Don’t you care about what’s happening in the world?”

You could say:

“Yes, I care, and it is clear that you care, too. We both want a better world. How about we change the topic and talk about your upcoming vacation?”

If someone says:

“We just see the world totally differently.”

You could say:

“We do see things differently, and that’s OK. What matters most to me right now is that we’re all together.”

If someone won’t stop pushing the topic, and you feel yourself getting upset, you could say:

“I know I’m interrupting, but I need to take a break and change the topic. I want us to stay connected, so let’s talk about something else right now.”

BOTTOM LINE:

By acknowledging people gently and pivoting to another topic, we can keep family and friend relationships strong and peaceful, even when politics comes into the discussion.

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Who is Rick Lamplugh?

I’m a writer of award-winning nonfiction books. I combine research with storytelling. Two of my last three books covered wolves and Yellowstone National Park. I actively advocated for wildlife and wild lands for a decade. I’m now advocating—with my wife, Mary, and so many others—for our democracy.

I’m also currently researching and writing on a new topic—my journey into the wilds of cancer.

To read preview chapters from my forthcoming book, The Wilds of Cancer: A Life-Affirming Journey

The book will be published in early January. To order your signed prepublication copy